Sebastian (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
wildeabandon) wrote2018-09-26 03:25 pm
wildeabandon) wrote2018-09-26 03:25 pm
Entry tags:
Godly things
We have a new vicar! In fact, we've had her for about three weeks now, and so far I think she's just as brilliant as I hoped and expected. It feels as though there's a new lease of life in the parish and the weight on my shoulders is a great deal lighter. We also have a very pleasing addition to the congregation in the form of smhwpf, who has not only just moved back to London, but from next week will be just up the road from us. This is great not only because it means I get to see more of him, but also because he very foolishly volunteered to take on one of my excessive number of hats; handing over responsibilities always feels good, but especially so when it's to someone you know is going to be competent :D
All this lightening of the load has been quite timely, as it's given me a bit more space to focus on the more spiritual aspects of my religious life, which I've been sorely in need of. I went to a one day Ignatian retreat at the Mount Street Jesuit centre, which gave me some time and structure in which to reflect further on the vocational questions I've been exploring recently. That, combined with some very helpful conversations withartsyhonker and Fr Angus (my confessor/informal spiritual director) has let me develop a lot more clarity. I'm now back to being fairly confident that I don't have a vocation to the priesthood. I'm not completely ruling out the possibility of one developing later, but definitely not now.
In the meantime though, I've got a clearer sense of what I am called to do within the church. It very probably does include Lay Readership, but something that really crystalised whilst I was talking to Fr Angus yesterday is that it also involves music. This is scary, because clearly I'm barely competent enough to participate in making music, let alone be allowed to try and lead and develop doing so. But oh well, apparently that's what I'm supposed to be doing, so I guess my insecurities about it are just going to have to go do one... Obviously the details of what this might entail is going to need some thought and some conversation with Mthr Alice, but it's good to have a direction.
smhwpf, who has not only just moved back to London, but from next week will be just up the road from us. This is great not only because it means I get to see more of him, but also because he very foolishly volunteered to take on one of my excessive number of hats; handing over responsibilities always feels good, but especially so when it's to someone you know is going to be competent :DAll this lightening of the load has been quite timely, as it's given me a bit more space to focus on the more spiritual aspects of my religious life, which I've been sorely in need of. I went to a one day Ignatian retreat at the Mount Street Jesuit centre, which gave me some time and structure in which to reflect further on the vocational questions I've been exploring recently. That, combined with some very helpful conversations with
artsyhonker and Fr Angus (my confessor/informal spiritual director) has let me develop a lot more clarity. I'm now back to being fairly confident that I don't have a vocation to the priesthood. I'm not completely ruling out the possibility of one developing later, but definitely not now. In the meantime though, I've got a clearer sense of what I am called to do within the church. It very probably does include Lay Readership, but something that really crystalised whilst I was talking to Fr Angus yesterday is that it also involves music. This is scary, because clearly I'm barely competent enough to participate in making music, let alone be allowed to try and lead and develop doing so. But oh well, apparently that's what I'm supposed to be doing, so I guess my insecurities about it are just going to have to go do one... Obviously the details of what this might entail is going to need some thought and some conversation with Mthr Alice, but it's good to have a direction.
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I wish you all the best with the next stage in your journey.