I vaguely knew about your history and have long considered you someone who managed to "pull themselves/get pulled" back from some pretty bad mad etc.

I agree with others that information is power, and if you had known what you know now, things would have been very different. It is hard to be angry sometimes when there was no malice or ill intent, just lack of awareness, knowledge and understanding.

I am glad you are finding the ways to explore your diagnosis and I encourage you to be as kind to yourself as I know you would be to anyone else... I often say this to disabled students too, imagine you are your friend's friend, but to yourself.