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In the gym today, one of the personal trainers who I had a few sessions with earlier in the year came up to me and commented that I'd lost weight.
This has left me feeling a bit funny. Because I'm not going to the gym to lose weight - I'm going there to get healthier and stronger, and because I enjoy it. If she'd commented that my shoulders were looking broader, or my arms more muscular, then I'd have been unmitigatedly pleased.
But now it's a bit awkward in my head, because on some level, even though it's not why I go to the gym, even though I like being simultaneously fat and athletic, part of me was pleased too. The part of me that thinks, "Well, I'm always going to be a short guy, but if I were short and slender, I'd be more attractive to more people."
I would like that part to shut up, and slightly I'm worried that if (and it's quite possible, albeit far from certain) I continue to lose weight, it'll just get louder, and then I'll start getting tempted to change my diet and make it go faster, and then bad things happen.
I don't think this is actually likely, but it is a bit annoying that a well-meaning comment can lead to such angst.
This has left me feeling a bit funny. Because I'm not going to the gym to lose weight - I'm going there to get healthier and stronger, and because I enjoy it. If she'd commented that my shoulders were looking broader, or my arms more muscular, then I'd have been unmitigatedly pleased.
But now it's a bit awkward in my head, because on some level, even though it's not why I go to the gym, even though I like being simultaneously fat and athletic, part of me was pleased too. The part of me that thinks, "Well, I'm always going to be a short guy, but if I were short and slender, I'd be more attractive to more people."
I would like that part to shut up, and slightly I'm worried that if (and it's quite possible, albeit far from certain) I continue to lose weight, it'll just get louder, and then I'll start getting tempted to change my diet and make it go faster, and then bad things happen.
I don't think this is actually likely, but it is a bit annoying that a well-meaning comment can lead to such angst.
