Sep. 29th, 2021

wildeabandon: writing an appointment in a diary (scheduling)
This week is rather full of meetings of various kinds. On Monday I had a session with my own spiritual director, which was astonishingly fruitful, as I realised that somehow, without even noticing that it was happening, my sense of security and willingness to trust God absolutely has shifted from being something that I aspire to, to being something that is just there.

There was also a conversation around apophatic prayer, and I said that although I knew it was silly I felt as though it would be a bit presumptuous for me to seek out something that I think of as being for people who are far more holy and advanced in their spiritual journey than I am. And then she asked about what I was actually experiencing in my prayer life at the moment, and then I heard myself give a description that was pretty much exactly what I've read about other people experiencing as they make the transition from cataphatic to apophatic prayer. So then I laughed at myself a bit, but in a good way.

Last night I had a meeting with the vicar to ask the various questions I had remaining before her maternity leave starts (on Friday). I feel a bit more on top of what's expected of me over the next few months. There's quite a lot for me to do, but it feels bounded and therefore just about manageable.

Today I have rather more work meetings than usual, but at least mostly ones that I expect to be reasonably productive. In the evening I've got another churchy meeting, this time about our Common Fund contributions, which will be tedious, but I can probably get away with crocheting in the background.

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Sebastian

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