wildeabandon: picture of me (Default)
Hier soir était intense. J'ai eu un leçon de français immédiatement après j'ai retourné chez moi, une pause d'une heure, et puis ma première session avec ma nouvelle conseillère.

Le leçon sentait plus dur que le dernier. Après quelques mois de progrès rapide, je semble d'avoir atteint un plateau. Il y avait quelques moments quand il fallait que nous ayons transféré de anglais parce que je n'ai pas pu me faire compris. Isaac (mon professeur) me dit fréquemment d'éviter des pauses quand je parle, et d'utilise des phrases plus simple. Mais c'est difficile, parce que mes pensées sont rarement simple. Même en anglais, je n'utilise jamais un mot quand cinq sont disponible! Je me sens un peu démotivé aujourd'hui, mais j’espère que c'est seulement un moment qui passe, et que je retrouverai ma motivation bientôt.

Entre le leçon et la thérapie je me suis mis de cuisiner. J'ai fait une couple des nouvelles recettes de Anjum Anand (m'écrivant préféré des recettes indiennes) - aloo gobi (des pommes de terre et du choux-fleur épicés), et un curry d'agneau himalayen.

En revanche du leçon de français, la thérapie était plus facile que j'aie attendu. Bien que l'intention du longtemps soit de creuser dans mon passé et examiner l'impact d'avoir autisme non diagnostiqué, cette fois nous avons parlé événements récents dans ma vie. Elle m'a donné plusieurs conseils utiles, et m'a aidé taire quelques inquiétudes sur mon comportement et mes motivations qui avaient été me dérangeaient. Je pense que le prochaine fois je serai prêt a commencer le travail dur de réexaminer mes traumatismes passé a travers la nouvelle lentille de mon diagnostic.

Après la session, j'ai fini cuisiner, et ai dîné. La bouffe m'ont déçu un peu - assez agréable, mais moins que j'attend des recettes d'Anjum.

*****

Yesterday was intense. I had a French lesson immediately after I got home, an hour's break, and then my first session with my new counsellor.

The lesson felt harder than the previous one. After several months of quick progress, I seem to have reached a plateau. There were several points when we had to change to English because I wasn't able to make myself understood. Isaac (my teacher) frequently tells me to avoid pausing when I'm speaking, and to use simpler sentences. But it's difficult, because my thoughts are rarely simple. Even in English I never use one word when five are available. I'm feeling a bit demotivated today, but I hope that it's just a passing moment, and I'll rediscover my motivation soon.

Between the lesson and therapy I started cooking. I made a couple of new recipes by Anjum Anand (my favourite writer of indian recipes) - aloo gobi (spicy potatoes and cauliflower) and a Himalayan lamb curry.

In contrast to the French lesson, therapy was easier than I expected. Although the long term intention is to dig into my past and examine the impact of having undiagnosed autism, this time we talked about recent events in my life. She gave me several useful pieces of advice, and helped me to quieten a few worries about my behaviour and motivations that had been bothering me. I think that next time I will be ready to start the hard work of rexamining my past traumas through the new lens of my diagnosis.

After the session I finished cooking and ate. The food was a bit disappointing - nice enough, but less so than I expect from Anjum's recipes.

Date: 2020-01-24 11:54 am (UTC)From: [personal profile] emperor
emperor: (Default)
I have that problem really badly when trying to speak a foreign language; it's hard for me to simplify what I'm trying to say to match my ability :(

Date: 2020-01-24 04:17 pm (UTC)From: [personal profile] ludy
ludy: Close up of pink tinted “dyslexo-specs” with sunset light shining through them (Default)
(I know long term you want to be able to use more complex French more fliwingly and that’s an excellent goal)
I’ve had to work on simplifying my speech (in English) because of Mum’s dementia - it goes against my innate thought patterns but it’s actually a good discipline (though I think it would get boring quite quickly if everyone spoke that that all the time!). It’s made me think more about what is most important thing to communicate and how to get (more) inside someone else’s frame of reference.
So maybe it would be a good thing to try for you?

Date: 2020-01-25 08:44 pm (UTC)From: [personal profile] sfred
sfred: Fred wearing a hat in front of a trans flag (Default)
I'm glad the therapy session was useful.

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