wildeabandon | Clang!

So the big thing that happened to me over Christmas is that I was reading Black, Gay, British, Christian, Queer (which is excellent and I wholeheartedly recommend to anyone interested in the question of how the church (fails to) minister to its Black and LGBT+ members), and the big question mark over whether or not I have a priestly vocation, which I had been putting quietly to once side suddenly resolved itself into a clanging, "Yes".

"Oh. Bugger." I said.

What living out that vocation is going to look like in a church which is not yet willing to ordain people in same-sex marriages is going to take some figuring out. But apparently that's the next stage of my journey.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

*hugs* Well done on being brave and honest, and I hope the church treats you kindly, and realises what an awesome gift God is offering to it!

Thank you. I suspect that mostly the members of the church with whom I interact directly will be entirely kind and also constrained by the institution as a whole in a way that makes it very difficult for them to actually support me usefully, but I may yet be pleasantly surprised.

Jarel is awesome and you're not the only one he's had that effect on.

Somehow I'm not surprised. It's been a long time coming, and some other important things have been going on in the background that meant that when the 'Clang' came I was a lot more open to it than I might have been in the past, but he found the right button to press. (The specific line was "Being serious about grace sometimes means resisting forcefully the insistence from heterosexuals that LGBTQ+ Christians 'play ball' in order to be accepted or made welcome.")

*hugs* Good luck with figuring things out :)

Thank you <3

Good luck with that journey, at least you see where to aim for. They'll get there in the end and you can still contribute along the way.

Thanks. Yeah - a friend commented the other day that there will be things that I can do that feel sacramental without actually being ordained, and I think that Mthr Alice will be very supportive in helping me explore what those things might be.

I'm not sure whether this is a "congratulations" response situation, I'm just doing the equivalent of nodding and patting you on the shoulder and wishing you the best with it.

By that I mean it very well might and I just don't know socially what the right response is, not that I don't think it's congratulation-worthy to have achieved that clarity and vocation. Congratulations on that!

Thank you :) I'm not sure it's really a situation where there is a social script for what the right response is. Even if there wasn't church law in the way, there's a big difference between me realising I have a priestly vocation and a selection committee confirming it. And even then there'd be an awful lot of practical questions to answer before I could start taking real steps along the path. But it's still good to get that sense of where I'm supposed to end up. (And you never know, but as Sam points out below, it could mean ending up down the road from you again...)

It sounds like a challenge but I’ve never known you shirk a challenge. I hope you find a way. I’ll remember you when I pray for vocations in the church.

Thank you. Sometimes I think my life would be a lot more comfortable if I could bring myself to shirk the occasional challenge now and then, but this definitely isn't the time to start.

Wow, that's awesome! I can't say I am massively surprised, but it is a huge discovery!

Will be praying for you as you discern how to go forward with this.

Moving to Scotland is always one option... (though I realise it's not as simple as that)

Heartfelt thanks for the affirmation, which is deeply warming :)

Slightly more reserved thanks for the observation about the Piskies ;) I had let my mind wander that way very briefly in the distant past, but not entirely accidentally let it slip my mind, at a time when there were lots of other reasons that it wasn't the right time to pursue. I don't know whether it's a realistic option, given that it would involve turning two other lives upside down as well, but I should at least start those conversations and see where they lead.

Just to quickly follow up on this, it was definitely good to look more seriously at whether moving to Scotland was an option (and the thanks for encouraging me to do so are sincere, even if a little grudging), but the legal system is sufficiently different that Robert couldn't work there. And although Ramesh & I don't have the same formal commitment to him that we do to one another, I still essentially consider the household a family, and would only consider breaking it up in extremis.

It's not completely impossible that sometime in the future I'll reach a point where it seems like there's no change in sight in England, and it becomes intolerable not to move, but for now it's off the table unless/until it seems there are no other options.

Yay/Argh!

I hope you can steer the calmest path possible.

Happy to listen if you want to talk about it at any point xx

Thank you. You are very much someone I would like to talk to about this at some point, as I'm quite sure you will have wise and insightful things to say.

Um…Yay! and Argh!

Hah. Yeah, that about sums it up :)

Congratulations and good luck? I'm not sure what the appropriate thing is to say here. I hope that you can find your path and feel like you're in the right place when you get to the end of it.

Thank you. One thing about this path is that no-one ever really gets to the end of it in this life, so the best I can hope for is feeling like I'm going in the right direction, but that will do.

Every good wish for The Next Bit - very happy to talk/share my experience of this, if it's likely to be of any help.

Thank you. Have emailed, although I'm not sure if the address is still current. Let me know what I should be using if it doesn't get through?

Hmmm, doesn't seem to have come through... try realname (first/sur, no capitals or full stops) @ cantab?

Huh, that's what I used. (Assuming the first name that you actually go by rather than the longer name I assume it's shortened from, and that you didn't change your surname on marriage.) Perhaps it's just wending its way through the ether - I haven't had a bounce at any rate.

It has turned up after wending its way, and a reply shall be forthcoming shortly :D

I wish you luck with The Next Bit: I suspect that much of it is going to involve large obstacles and small but extremely annoying obstructions.

Thank you. I'm sure there will be plenty of that, but I hope that there will also be moments of grace and delight and wonder.

Congrats! This does sound really hard given the church's stance though.

Thank you. At the moment I am mostly feeling excited and hopeful, though I have no doubt that it will start to feel much harder as the obstacles become more concrete.