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As I'm sure some of you will already be aware, after several years of the "Living in Love and Faith" process, the Bishops of the Church of England have decided to allow clergy and churches to conduct services of blessing for same-sex partnerships and civil marriages, and have published a draft of worship resources for doing so. They will also be retiring the 1991 guidance document, "Issues in Human Sexuality", which dictates that clergy in same sex relationships must remain celibate, and replacing it with new guidance by mid-2023. And they have apologised for way the church has failed queer people.
They have not, as I suspect more of you are already aware, proposed changing the doctrine on marriage.
This isn't what I expected to happen. What I expected was that they would propose changing doctrine, and the proposal would go to General Synod, where it would need a 2/3 majority in all three houses, and be voted down. I am much, much happier with the actual outcome, which will go to Synod for discussion, but as it doesn't involve doctrinal change, doesn't actually require a vote to be enacted.
In 2004 there were plenty of people objecting to the introduction of civil partnerships, because they were "separate but equal", which we all know means not really equal. But the realistic options then weren't "civil partnerships" or "marriage", they were "civil partnerships" or "no legal recognition at all", and of those options, civil partnerships is much better actually. In a similar way, if you are someone for whom church recognition of the validity of your relationship matters, then the difference between "blessing" and "no recognition at all" is significant. Is it enough? No. But it's a damn sight better than nothing. Of course, in 2014 we did get same-sex civil marriage, at least in part because the visibility of people in the marriage-like state of civil partnership made the idea seem more acceptable.
In terms of the personal impact on me and my priestly vocation, I don't actually know what it's going to mean, and won't until the new guidance comes out in the summer. The Bishop of Oxford has said that he believes the ban on clergy forming same-sex marriages (and by implication, the ban on people in same-sex marriages being ordained) will be lifted, but I'm conscious that he is one of the most vocal supporters of liberalising marriage doctrine in the House of Bishops, so it may just be wishful thinking. But where previously I had been guessing that the likely timescales for this change could be anywhere in the 5-20 years range, it now seems very plausible that it could be a matter of months. Somehow the proximity actually makes the wait feel longer.
Last time I saw my Spiritual Director I said that I was feeling very secure in my medium term pathway; that my plan to start a theology degree this year is what I'm supposed to be doing now, and that I really had no idea what I was going to be doing afterwards, but that I had no concerns at all about waiting and leaving it in God's hands to be revealed in time. I really should know by now that feeling perfectly secure is probably a sign that something is about to be upended. I'm definitely in that alexithymia thing of knowing that this is something with a big emotional impact, but not being at all sure how I actually feel about it yet. I hope it isn't going to take until the guidance comes out for me to figure it out.
The other personal impact on me is that suddenly the internet is full of people, many of whom are neither queer nor Anglican, talking about how terrible and regressive the Church is, and how meaningless are the apologies and changes that are being made, and how the LLF process and work to reform the Church have been just a waste of time. And so once again I find myself in the position of having to defend her, and my choice to continue to engage with her, to people who are not nearly so profoundly affected by her attitudes as I am, and I am so, so tired of doing that.
They have not, as I suspect more of you are already aware, proposed changing the doctrine on marriage.
This isn't what I expected to happen. What I expected was that they would propose changing doctrine, and the proposal would go to General Synod, where it would need a 2/3 majority in all three houses, and be voted down. I am much, much happier with the actual outcome, which will go to Synod for discussion, but as it doesn't involve doctrinal change, doesn't actually require a vote to be enacted.
In 2004 there were plenty of people objecting to the introduction of civil partnerships, because they were "separate but equal", which we all know means not really equal. But the realistic options then weren't "civil partnerships" or "marriage", they were "civil partnerships" or "no legal recognition at all", and of those options, civil partnerships is much better actually. In a similar way, if you are someone for whom church recognition of the validity of your relationship matters, then the difference between "blessing" and "no recognition at all" is significant. Is it enough? No. But it's a damn sight better than nothing. Of course, in 2014 we did get same-sex civil marriage, at least in part because the visibility of people in the marriage-like state of civil partnership made the idea seem more acceptable.
In terms of the personal impact on me and my priestly vocation, I don't actually know what it's going to mean, and won't until the new guidance comes out in the summer. The Bishop of Oxford has said that he believes the ban on clergy forming same-sex marriages (and by implication, the ban on people in same-sex marriages being ordained) will be lifted, but I'm conscious that he is one of the most vocal supporters of liberalising marriage doctrine in the House of Bishops, so it may just be wishful thinking. But where previously I had been guessing that the likely timescales for this change could be anywhere in the 5-20 years range, it now seems very plausible that it could be a matter of months. Somehow the proximity actually makes the wait feel longer.
Last time I saw my Spiritual Director I said that I was feeling very secure in my medium term pathway; that my plan to start a theology degree this year is what I'm supposed to be doing now, and that I really had no idea what I was going to be doing afterwards, but that I had no concerns at all about waiting and leaving it in God's hands to be revealed in time. I really should know by now that feeling perfectly secure is probably a sign that something is about to be upended. I'm definitely in that alexithymia thing of knowing that this is something with a big emotional impact, but not being at all sure how I actually feel about it yet. I hope it isn't going to take until the guidance comes out for me to figure it out.
The other personal impact on me is that suddenly the internet is full of people, many of whom are neither queer nor Anglican, talking about how terrible and regressive the Church is, and how meaningless are the apologies and changes that are being made, and how the LLF process and work to reform the Church have been just a waste of time. And so once again I find myself in the position of having to defend her, and my choice to continue to engage with her, to people who are not nearly so profoundly affected by her attitudes as I am, and I am so, so tired of doing that.
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Date: 2023-01-21 10:19 pm (UTC)From:I have Thoughts on this, but I'll wait until Mum's gone home and I have spoons to write it
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Date: 2023-01-22 12:18 am (UTC)From:[also, I see you got your userpic updated, neat :) ]
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Date: 2023-01-22 01:08 am (UTC)From:(credit for fixing the icon goes to
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Date: 2023-01-22 07:03 am (UTC)From:The thing I am finding most heartening is that there are various statements floating around from various bishops (the Bishop of Bristol's one comes to mind) that openly acknowledge their support for full equality of same sex marriage, and that this current proposal isn't ideal and will still cause hurt and harm. It seems pretty obviously a transitional arrangement, even if nobody is saying so out loud.
I am also mindful of how difficult it has been for various clergy I know to attempt something a bit like this anyway, knowing if they were caught or if what they could offer was misinterpreted by the wrong people, they could lose their posts and their homes, and so feeling they must tread very carefully and be very circumspect when they would have wanted to celebrate in a more public and exuberant way. "I'm so sorry, I'm not legally allowed to marry you in church and that's bullshit, but you can do the legal bit elsewhere and then have a blessing here, and we can make that into one heck of a party if you want," is... so much better, pastorally, than some of the responses I have seen.
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Date: 2023-01-22 07:33 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2023-01-22 02:14 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2023-01-23 01:21 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2023-01-23 08:05 pm (UTC)From:...
I do not think you are making no sense. You are making a choice I could not and would not make even for a significantly more progressive denomination, ten years ago.
I think you are likely to be miserably disappointed, but hey. I believe in the power of pessimism.