Grump

The burglar alarm for the nursery across the road has been going off for the last 45 minutes. A couple of times it has stopped for about a minute, just long enough to lull me into a false sense of security, before starting up again.

In the past it has done this regularly, although this is the first time in a while. It seems to be more of a problem in the summer, which I have assumed is something to do with the heat having an effect on the electronics, but who knows. It's also more annoying then because the windows are open, but even with them closed it's definitely not going to be letting me get any sleep :(

Review of 2020

2019; 2018; 2017; 2016; 2015; 2014; 2000-2009

It feels a bit odd reviewing 2020 with the same format as I used for the previous six, but I think it's something I will appreciate having in the future.

Was 2020 a good year for you?
For the last few years I've commented that it's been a much better year for me personally than for the world in general, and that continues to be the case, although perhaps would be better phrased as it's been a much worse year for the world in general than it has for me.

This year I figured out my vocation as a spiritual director and began the formation process of making that vocation a reality, which has been one of the single biggest positive changes in my life to date. And the change in the pace and structure of my life brought about by lockdown was definitely a contributing factor to that discernment process, and has enabled me to reap more of the benefits of it than I otherwise might have been able to. A combination of luck, circumstances, privilege and temperament has meant that I have been insulated from a lot of the negative impacts of the pandemic and other events in the outside world, and I am extraordinarily grateful for that.

But it has still been This Fucking Year. I have still missed people and community and important events. I have still despaired at the way some people and governments have responded. I have struggled at times to find a balance between feeling that I should be using my relative privilege as much as possible to support people in a worse position and wrestling with guilt for taking time to rest and recharge. I have had some quite painful personal stuff to process which, although not directly caused by the pandemic, was certainly made more complicated by it.

So yeah, of course it wasn't a good year, but it had some good bits, and that's enough.

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