Vocation news

[wildeabandon]

I've been continuing to think and pray about vocation stuff over recent weeks and months, and yesterday I had a meeting with the vicar where I articulated some threads of discernment which had been gradually coming together. For a long time I used to think that whilst I had a calling to the more didactic and liturgical aspects of lay readership, I had no aptitude for pastoral work.

Something the vicar had said the previous time we'd met to talk vocation started me on the path to realising that whilst it is true that my autism makes it difficult for me to quickly and easily develop casual relationships with large numbers of people whom I don’t know well, it doesn’t impede my ability to develop deep and enriching bonds of understanding once that initial hurdle has been overcome, and that this is a)actually something that I'm pretty good at, and b)just as much a way of providing pastoral care. I explored a related theme a bit further with my therapist, thinking about having for a long time had a perception of myself as having poor social skills, and again realised that whilst I'm not naturally skilled at making friends, once I'm close to someone, I think I'm generally quite good at being a friend. In particular that I'm good at listening to people and making the time and space to meet them where they are and understand them, and let them feel safe with me and supported. And also at being able to offer perspectives that might be new and perhaps even challenging in a way that they're able to remain open to.

And somewhere along the line, the thought occured to me that one form of pastoral care which is considerably more aligned to these strengths than a lot of parish ministry is the relationship with a spiritual director. I sat on this for a while, not entirely sure if it was just a knee-jerk response to having had such a wonderful experience at St Beuno's earlier this year, or whether it was hubristic of me to think it was something I could do, but yesterday I mentioned it to Mthr Alice. Her response was that she'd been wondering whether or not to suggest it to me ever since I got back from St Beuno's, but that she thought it might be better to let me get there on my own. At which point it just clicked, and I suddenly have this firm and confident gnosis that this is how I'm suppose to serve God, which is something that I've never experienced before, and is extremely comforting and heartening. I've done some research into what options there are for my next steps, and am now in the process of filling out an application for a three year course at the London Centre for Spiritual Direction, starting in October. I'm very excited!

Comments

[atreic]

This post makes me very happy! So pleased for you.

[wildeabandon]

:D <3

[liv]

This sounds very exciting, I really hope the course and the next stage go well for you!

May I ask ignorant questions?

[wildeabandon]

Thank you! I hope so too, and I think it will.

Ask away :)

[liv]

So is 'Spiritual Director' an actual job? Or a qualification which you could use in other jobs? I was picturing it a bit like being a supervisor of a psychotherapist - the people who do that job are themselves psychotherapists. But the way you're contrasting it to 'parish minister' sounds like I have completely the wrong concept in my head.

[wildeabandon]

Ah, no, that was me using "ministry" in its broadest sense, which I can see now is a bit confusing - I just meant something like 'helping people to grow in faith and love of Christ, within the context of parish life', rather than specifically ordained or licensed ministry.

Your analogy with psychotherapists and their supervisors is a good one, and indeed, the line between spiritual direction and therapy is itself pretty fuzzy.

[cosmolinguist]

This sounds so exciting! I'm glad you're feeling so positive about it.

[wildeabandon]

Thank you :)

[ludy]

:)

Am very happy for you. Many good wishes for exploring this path.

I have had thoughts about Spiritual Direction myself - that I wish there were more ways for me as not-curently-members-of-a-faith-community (and as someone on benefits because i'd want any Spiritual Director to be appropriately compensated/supported. I actually find trying to work out what an appropriate donation might be more difficult than having a specfic low-income band) to access it and longer term if it might be a path for me to explore? (One thing i have not lost from my upbringing is a strong belief in the priesthood of all belivers but that doesn't mean i can currently se what my ministry is/should be!)

I'm interested in how much the training is similar to/different from training as a counsellor and/or as a Minister of Word and Sacrament/Priest? And what sort of supervision/support you would have when you are qualified?

I also have (still unformed) Thoughts about Autism and Public Facing/Pastoral roles. In some ways i think a conventional ministerial/priesthood role might be easier because the expectations of the role already give you an "in" into peoples lives/social circles without so much of that awkward initial "making friends" work (and it comes with a societal expectation to be a bit odd!). But the amount of Small Talk and needing to emotionally/socially available would be very hard...

[wildeabandon]

Thank you!

You might find the referrals co-ordination service described at the bottom of this page useful?

This is the course that I'm applying for. The Centre does also offer support and continued development after you complete the course.

[sfred]

Oh, yes! I'm very happy for you. I'll be really interested to hear about it if there's anything you want to share.

A dear friend of mine WINODW has done a spiritual direction course as part of Unitarian ministry training. If you would like to be put in touch I'd be happy to do that (and if not, no problem).

I agree that you are good at being a friend. <3

[wildeabandon]

Thank you. I might ask to be put in touch a bit closer to the start of the course.

[smhwpf]

Awesome! That makes a lot of sense. Good luck, and my prayers with you as you pursue your vocation. Very exciting!

[kht]

Happy vocation! It's good to know that you are on the right path.

[bunnypip]

Very exciting! Hurrah for God and you and Mthr Alice and for knowing things!

Good luck with the application.

And I think you are very good at being a friend xx

[barakta]

It is delightful to see things crystalising into clarity for you with clear paths unfurling ahead of you. Also that good people share these thoughts but understand about letting you develop things independently.

I could see you making a great spiritual director as you are very good at listening to people and very much being with them in that time and space. While also not being as over-demanding as something like parish ministry might be.

I hope your course goes well. I hope you'll share some of your journey as you wish here.

[ewt]

I am very pleased to read this! Hurrah.

[the_elyan]

That sounds like an excellent and enriching decision, and I hope it goes well for you. I think you are right that the ability to listen and to make company enjoyable is something you are good at, and is a key component of what you want to do.

[juliet]

That sounds like a really positive decision. I hope all the next steps go well!

[emperor]

Cool :)
[I am only a little jealous of such a clear feeling of having found the thing God wants for you, but really I am super pleased :-)]

[wildeabandon]

I meant to reply to this ages ago, and keep forgetting, but have you considered looking for a spiritual director for yourself?

[atreic]

I hear if he waits a year or two there'll be a really good one along... ;-)

[emperor]

Hm.

I think I have internalised that this is something clergy (and religious) do, and something that people exploring a vocation to the previous also. Indeed, the closest I've come to it was I think when briefly exploring the call to ordination myself a number of years ago now.

[that is not to say at all this is true, but this is something I have clearly internalised about this quite strongly]

[wildeabandon]

Mmm. It is certainly my impression that it's a lot more common for clergy and religious to pursue spiritual direction than the laity, but I don't think there's any good reason that it should be that way. I suspect there might be a bit of a vicious circle where lay people only hear about it as something that clergy do, so think it's not for them, so only clergy do it.

I suspect also that it's a bit tied up in the way the church and wider society tends to ignore and devalue lay vocations, and assumes that anyone who is deeply committed to centring God in their lives must be on the path to ordination.

[jack]

*hugs* That does sound awesome!

[hjdoom]

I really happy you’ve found something that answers the call of your heart to God.