God of Surprises...

[wildeabandon]

You may recall that about a month ago I talked to my spiritual director about being, in some sense, an atheist? He recommended the book God of Surprises as reading material that might help me process the tension of belief and unbelief.

Well, I certainly can't accuse it of false advertising in the title. I, er, appear not to be an atheist any more. Which is unexpected, to say the least. This evening has been a bit of an emotional roller-coaster, and I'm now feeling a little weepy and a lot overwhelmed. Prayers from those of you that do would be appreciated.

Comments

[angelofthenorth]

prayers from here.

[wildeabandon]

Thank you.

[ciphergoth]

Oh you would wait 'till I've left the country, wouldn't you? :-P

[wildeabandon]

If it makes you feel any better, the image of you in my brain was very argumentative, but I realise it may not have done justice to the real you.

[ciphergoth]

Very pleased and a little flattered that you argued with me in my absence :)

[alextiefling]

Many thoughts and prayers here.

[wildeabandon]

Thank you.

[bunnypip]

much love and prayers.

Also hugs if wanted, especially for the overwhelmedness xx

[wildeabandon]

Thank you. Hugs from you very much appreciated - I imagine you have a rather more visceral and personal understanding of what I'm experiencing than most would.

[bunnypip]

I think it's different in that I tried really, really hard not to believe but it wouldn't ever properly go away and even when I tried believing other things instead they kept translating themselves back in my head. But even having said that, when I first started going to church again regularly, believing still sometimes felt like something I'd consciously decided to do and I don't get those feelings as much any more.

But weepy and overwhelmed I can absolutely relate to xx

*more hugs*

[wildeabandon]

I had a long phase of trying very hard to ignore the bits of me that were drawn to belief before I accepted that my life was just better if the Church was part of it. But yes, it was the being overwhelmed by God that I was particularly referencing. This stuff is big, and we are very small.

[bunnypip]

*much nodding*

And yet apparently we're still worth bothering with. It's not surprising it's overwhelming really.

[silverhare]

*prayers and love*

[wildeabandon]

Thank you.

[emperor]

*hugs* I have that book, with a marker stuck in it - I got to the first set of exercises and thought "I should make some time to do those", and, well, you can fill in the rest. Perhaps I should actually try and finish it!

[wildeabandon]

I've only done the exercises from the first couple of chapters so far. I think they're useful, but that they don't necessarily need to be done to make the rest of the book valuable (at least, I'm about half way through now - it's possible I could change my mind towards the later parts) so there might be something to be said for a relatively swift first read, and then a more in depth review doing all the exercises.

[jack]

*hugs* Congratulations, again.

[wildeabandon]

Thank you. There's something particularly meaningful in receiving affirmation and support from you despite your own lack of faith.

[jack]

Thank you, I'm glad.

I also had an intense urge to argue, but I figure that can wait for a better occasion. If you think it's right, then I trust you that it's a good thing.

[sfred]

I really struggle to know whether I'm a theist or not, and/but am happy to hold you in the light, as Quakers say.

xx

[wildeabandon]

Thank you :) Belief is complicated and confusing, and that struggle to know makes a lot of sense to me.

[bella_luugosi]

My college chaplain recommended me that book when I was wrestling with a few things, it is bloody marvellous.

Of course prayers from here. My faith is a very weird one so I never quite know what to offer people - I'm a Pagan Christian so sometimes people don't waant my prayers, and if so that's cool. They are here, however, should you want them.

[sailor_jerry]

I've put the book on my 'to read' list.
Love to you